peace

I love Genesis. It’s one of my favorite books. In fact the first five books of the Bible, are my favorite. And so I was reading through the story of Noah and the flood, and I get to the part where it’s obvious that Noah is ready to dock the boat.

 

The Bible tells the story like this, that Noah “He sent out a raven, it flew back and forth waiting for the floodwaters to dry up. Then he sent a dove to check on the flood conditions, but it couldn’t even find a place to perch–water still covered the Earth. Noah reached out and caught it, and brought it back into ship.”

 

Noah goes on to release this dove 2 more times, before it finally flies away on the third time.

 

It’s interesting that the passage says that Noah sent out a raven to scout.

Ravens are opposite of what doves are about. They are creatures of destruction and chaos. But this story is not just about sending birds out on a scouting report. This is about the heart of Noah, but it is also about our heart; it is his story, but it is also our story. 

 

God has just brought destruction, and has told Noah that he is pleased with him and has decided to try again with humanity through him. It’s a tall order.

 

But, Noah seems to think that the story is going to be the same; because this story is not just about a raven out on a search, it’s about the fact that Noah is waiting for things to get back to how they were. Back to chaos. Back to destruction. And it’s our story too. Because it can be hard to believe that a new story is waiting. We send our voice out and we find ourselves standing behind our own echo, waiting for things to get back to normal. And we do whatever it takes.

 

Because it can be hard to believe in a Bigger story.

 

But Noah sends out a dove, and it doesn’t come back. Doves are about peace.  Again, this isn’t about the wild adventures of a bird, it’s about Noah choosing to release himself to the Bigger Story going on. It’s about those times when our story stops coming back around to us, because we realize it’s about Something Bigger than ourselves.

 

Jesus…after he’s baptized, looks and sees a dove landing on Him. And doves are about peace. Why doesn’t the dove fly away from Jesus? Why does it land on Him?

 

Because Jesus is the Bigger Story.

 

So peace has rested on Jesus.

 

It’s a beautiful thing.

 

But it can be hard to believe in.

 

Perhaps, because it asks us to see things differently. 

Perhaps, because it asks us to see others differently.

But in truth, because it asks us to see ourselves differently.

 

I want to be the kind of person who sends out doves, instead of ravens. 

more

we all want more.

we do.

but more of what?

do we really know what we’re asking for?

 

most of us got what we wanted only to find

that what we wanted was less.

 

to be less.

 

less upset.

less alone.

less ignored.

less tired.

less scared.

less unsure.

less broken.

less vulnerable.

 

and the list goes on.

 

but at the core we just want to be; and so we want more.

because more is less.

 

but what if it’s not just about us.

what if it’s about others?

 

what if the worst thing about getting more isn’t that it changes us…

but that it leaves us exactly the same?

 

and everyone else too.

 

may we be different. 

may we be those who desire to give more than we take.

 

may we hear the words that Jesus spoke.

but may we be that place through which He speaks.

real

 

I watched this and thought about how interesting it is that we all have those moments when we imagine others seeing us differently.

Yet how so many times what this looks like when it is played out looks more like us wanting to see ourselves differently. We would say that we want others to approve of us, but what we really mean is we’re not happy with who we are.

Please bare with me.

I believe we often times–in this pursuit– find ourselves staring through a lens hoping to give meaning to our life by what’s on the other side of the camera, which is why this video stuck out to me so much. I wonder what it would be like if we didn’t base our value by what’s on the big screen, but rather looked for the beauty behind the scenes. In other words, that we don’t find value in our ability to create a good show for others–what happens in front of the camera–but rather found value through what already is.

Because we can all get crafty with scraps when it comes to our image.

But what if it’s not about our image. What if it’s about Someone Else’s Image?
What if those things that you wish were different are the very things waiting to deliver someone else.

I was moved during the last 30 seconds when the guy says “we let one of our classmates get trampled, and it wasn’t even a real camera”. 

I believe the linguistic knots untie themselves at this point. 

But, I wonder… if we all are carrying a camera then how do we know what anybody really looks like, unless we look at ourselves? Would we not just be like mirrors reflecting mirrors?

Perhaps, somewhere in our ability to be real with who we are, we find a place where we can understand the person next to us.

Perhaps, they need a different perspective, instead of another camera angle.

change

i leave it somewhere in the midst.

those things that would change me… 

i choose to leave in one place. 

maybe because i want to choose when or how fast i change. 
maybe because i don’t want all of me to change at all…

just some parts.

yet, there are times when we feel better about who we’re becoming.

times when we become more than what we were.

more than what we thought we could be. 

we see hope.

when we weren’t able to believe in ourselves, it’s as if a moment came and presented us with the opportunity to believe in ourselves again. 

and while that should be something that leads us to More

it often times leads us to less.

because for a moment, we realize that a changed life is possible, but we have to change everything.

others, believe so much in the moment, that they forget about what the Moment came to hint at…change as something that offers not only a different present but also a different future, and instead see it as a one time thing. 

they may spend time trying to recreate the experience so that they can feel the same again.

it happens in relationships.
it happens churches.

We put things in one place, and observe it as the place where “it” occured. the moment where “it” all changed.

the moment where we (un)changed.

and we see change as the thing that exists “there” for “us”.

Tho only problem is…

the more and more it’s there for us…

the less and less IT’s everywhere for everyone because of the Everything all around us.

Yet, Jesus invites us to change.

But, perhaps change is such a foreign idea, that when we do show some progress, we place it in one area. 

we take up our “cross” 9-5 with the annoying guy at work.
we do it with the friend who barges in over and over.

and so we find ways to make change something that takes place within those parameters, and allow everything outside of that to become a free agent.

the question is not will we change?

it’s what are we changing into?

be…

we understand the big picture. 

we know where it’s all supposed to end up somewhere along the line because we have this view. this way of seeing things that is more a part of our internal construct than anything else.

for some of us it may involve a process of emphasizing certain things and de-emphasizing others.

for some it may involve a fine tooth comb, and a magnifying glass.

but we carry this with us.

because it’s how we try to wrestle with what it means to be in control.

it seems there are actually times when I grab a hold of things and in an attempt to make them true, in an attempt to make them real, I create a tunnel vision for myself, and I see nothing else. 

and yet…I get so caught up with maintaining the focus, that I lose the perspective.

this issue is not about being able to see things differently, being able to attain the “right” focus, or being able to do those things that allow us to “keep all the plates spinning”.

but rather how we understand what it means to just “be”.

i would argue that one of the things that gets in the way of this sometimes, is simply ourselves. 

Yes. We get in the way of ourselves.

Often times in our desire to be like some-thing, as opposed to being like the One thing, we end up with a spiritual journey that manifests itself as a no-thing. 

So, perhaps the task to be put to the Church entails the letting of one’s self be seen to the world not as a no-thing, but rather as nothing like the world has ever seen. 

Because we can ‘be’ in Christ.

// joy

when did we ever start looking for it?

when did we ever start believing that it could be found somewhere other than here?

because it’s always somewhere else. it’s either where we left it…or where we’ve yet to find it.

but never where we are.

perhaps, we’ve been looking for so long, that we’ve missed it. 

perhaps, the only way to really see anything…is to stop looking long enough for us to find ourselves staring right at it. 

perhaps expectations actually keep us from seeing.

perhaps, it comes when we don’t expect it.

what if it wasn’t about leaping for joy? 

what if it was about finding joy in the leap?

what if joy was not the name we gave to the aftermath of some search, but rather was that which we ascribed to the search itself?  

perhaps in the search we discover that More is what we have before we ever have anything.

perhaps, Joy isn’t about expecting something to come from without but rather acknowledging What is within.

Maybe this is Joy.

Out.

in motion

Ok. I’m giving this a shot. 

Hopefully, this will be a good way for me to get some thoughts down.

If at any point you read something on here, and think…”he doesn’t make sense” then join the club… I dont think i make sense half the time; but if you find something that helps, then great. And please share with me your thoughts and where you’re @.

robbie